The Hot Food Trap

Eating is hands down the greatest thing in the world. I honestly don’t think I am ever happier than when I am eating something delicious. But we cannot forget some of the terrible problems that eating can cause us. The feeling of extreme fullness, food stuck in your teeth, biting your tongue, food that tastes disgusting and choking to death are all major drawbacks to eating. Another somewhat less talked about negative related to eating is the “Hot Food Trap.”

Last night I made myself a wonderful dish of spaghetti and meatballs. I would normally microwave something, because when I’m really hungry I don’t like to sit around and wait, but on this night I decided to make something. If you are ever really hungry and you have to sit around waiting to eat you are setting yourself up for the “Hot Food Trap.”

When the spaghetti and meatballs was finally ready to eat I sat down ready to strike my food like a wild animal pouncing on his prey. Like any good predator I analyzed my prey to make sure I struck at the right time. I knew if I started eating it right away I would burn my mouth on the scalding hot meatballs, so I would have to wait. Unfortunately my hunger superseded my caution and I went after the first steaming meatball I could stab with my fork. I brought the meatball near my mouth and did a little precautionary light air blowing to cool down the meatball surface temperature, but as I would soon find out this wasn’t enough.

The moment the meatball entered my mouth I immediately knew I had fallen into the “Hot Food Trap.” The intense heat of the meatball was too much for me to bear. The burning meatball sat in my open mouth as I began exhaling in a futile attempt to relieve the pain. There was nothing I could do but scream, “ITS HAWT! ITS HAWT!” the whole time. I was trapped. My only option was to suffer through the pain until the meatball cooled down.

I’m not sure why I can never spit out food when it is too hot. Instead I always keep it in my mouth and endure the pain until the temperature goes down. Maybe my manners override basic instincts. Whatever the case is, it is important to avoid to “Hot Food Trap” all together. You can take proactive measures by cooking meals before you’re hungry, so you can have the patience to wait for the food to cool down before shoveling it into your mouth. Another way to avoid it is to look for signs and symptoms like steam rising from the food or other members of the table saying things like, “Wait for it to cool down,” or “This is really hot.” If these sign or symptoms occur put your fork down and wait for them to pass before eating.

The Fake Tough Cut

I think everyone, at least at some point, wants to be considered tough. Maybe it’s just one of those days where you want to look tough. Maybe you go through your whole life trying to be tough. Regardless, we all have experienced it at some point. There are plenty of ways to look tough on purpose. Your clothes, the way you act and what you say are all ways to look tough. There is also an accidental way to look tough. This accidental way is by getting an injury.

It doesn’t matter who you are, anyone walking around with a big cut, a huge Band-Aid, a cast or crutches looks somewhat tough. When I get an injury I see it as an opportunity to look like a tough guy. I remember when I was younger I hurt my finger playing basketball. When I had an x-ray done I prayed for a break so I could get a cast for my hand. If I jammed my finger, it would be wrapped excessively with medical tape so I could look like I led a second life as an underground street fighter. I’m really into this “injuries make you look tough” thing so anytime I get a “Fake Tough Cut” I’m heartbroken. 

Over the weekend I was at the gym playing basketball and I got elbowed in the mouth. I realized I was bleeding shortly after and I thought to myself, “You must look so tough right now.” Naturally I headed over to the bathroom to check out my new tough guy look. When I looked in the mirror I saw there was blood all over my mouth. I was thrilled.

Then reality set in. As I began cleaning the blood off my face I found the source of the “horrific” injury. It was a tiny little cut on my lip. My run as a tough guy was over. One moment I was the toughest kid on campus and the next I was just another guy with a tiny cut.

You have to be ready to spot a “Fake Tough Cut.” There is only one way to preserve your tough look when you get a cut. You have to avoid cleaning the blood off for as long as possible. When the blood is cleaned off, revealing a small pathetic cut, be sure to get the biggest Band-Aid you can find.